What did we do last night that was yellow?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
