my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
