i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
