It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize