i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
