I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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