beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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