I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
