..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
