Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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