i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
