I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i think my mom watched the whole time
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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