Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
