when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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