Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
