I just made out with a guy for $7.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
