he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
