I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
