Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
