Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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