theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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