She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
