But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
