Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
