I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
