Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
