Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
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They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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