Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
