But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
