garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
