Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
