Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
