no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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