Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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