idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
