So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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