I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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