Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
