The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
is wine microwaveable?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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