he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
