He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
