I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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