): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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