My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My balls are so social today.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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