Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
