his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
