they need to just BURY HIM!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
