My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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