I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am one with the molecules
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Oh god it's open bar.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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