I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
