theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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