I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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