So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
