Don't make out with my wife yet
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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