if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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