he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
