Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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