I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm too high and old for this...
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