$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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