My room smells like vodka and shame
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
