it was like eating out sand paper
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
