There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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