fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's always time for handjobs
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
